STICK A FORK IN HIM
After a series of epic failures, the low-energy, grotesque Trump is done ...
Maybe I’ve had this all wrong, my friends …
Maybe, if instead of wondering if our country will survive the next three-plus years, this question should be asked instead: Will the grotesque and failing Donald Trump survive that long?
Here’s where I dutifully remind everybody, after first reminding myself, that it has been only 147 days since this repellent, racist degenerate placed his right hand in the vicinity of a Bible and was sworn in a second time to finish off what he started in 2017.
147 DAYS.
My God, entire decades have felt shorter.
Trump has surrounded himself with a cabinet that is right out of the bowels of Rupert Murdoch after an all-you-can-eat offering of chicken-salmonella on the barbie.
Hegseth, Noem, Kennedy, Loeffler, Bondi, McMahon, Gabbard, Duffy …
Every single one of these clowns got their jobs, not because of any stellar qualifications, or abiding allegiance to our country, but because of their appalling capacity to bow over and over again to their huffing and puffing ringmaster.
So while they have been bringing back measles, making air travel a literal, death-defying, high-flying act, texting top-secret information to our enemies, and defending the indefensible in court, their dear leader has been shuffling his fat, little feet and backing himself into a corner.
He thought is would be easier to knock Americans into submission, and after watching us collectively punch ourselves in the face for the second time in eight years in November, I almost can’t blame him. It takes a lot of unmitigated gall to vote for a racist, America-attacking convicted felon who hasn’t told the truth since his parents locked him in a military school because they couldn’t stand the sight of him.
No country has done more truly wonderful things — “we must take that beach no matter what!” — and truly horrible things — “there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” — than the United States of America.
Except, having successfully cornered himself, the ignorant fascist is finding out in record time that his options are actually limited.
I’ve repeatedly warned since the first days of this mess of a presidency that it was only a matter of time before Trump used our military for him and against us, but I have to admit I am surprised how quickly he played this toxic card.
Trump was dealt a precarious hand by an unbalanced American electorate that needed to be finessed, but decided to play it like he held a mandate. He got sloppy because we are finding out he’s old and tired, and wants nothing to do with the job.
He knows he’s losing, and now must publicly carry out his four-year sentence.
He’s losing in the court of public opinion where his negative approvals have already shattered records.
He’s losing on the economy, which was somehow a strong point for him. (And this historic misnomer really needs to be addressed because Republican administrations are provably horrible for the economy, yet grade out better than Democrats who restore them.)
He’s losing on immigration, because most Americans don’t like seeing families senselessly ripped apart like some 1930s Nazi Germany redo.
He’s losing Independent voters in droves because there is finally an understanding that his big, beautiful bill will pad billionaires’ pockets, while also hurting millions in his cult, who might snap out of their trance, when they can no longer afford the things that cure what ails them.
He’s losing everywhere, because damn if he isn’t being absolutely annihilated and mocked by anybody who isn’t a full-throated fascist on the world stage.
He just harrumphed out of the G7 meetings Monday night because he can no longer even pretend to be a valuable contributor. He needs his naps, and a regular diaper change.
He is using a putty knife these days to cake on the brownish-orange mud to his hideous gray-white face in an effort to become a more distinctive person of color.
There’s a real irony there that I’ll point out with both index fingers, while letting my middle ones signal my absolute contempt for this vulgar, America-attacking loser.
Following one of the most consequential weeks in America history, which saw Trump host a MAGA rally on a U.S. Army base and grift off our soldiers; No Kings rallies that were attended by millions of Americans in literally every corner of our country; when two lawmakers and their families were brutally attacked in their homes by a member of Trump’s cult; and a military parade to celebrate his birthday was somehow even more pathetic and sad than most of us thought it would be … Trump is on the losing end of a poorly played hand, and I promise you is looking for an opportunity to cash out.
He’s 79 going on 100, is hated by most of the world, and now must spend what little time he has left on Earth trapped in a tiny, miserable world of his making.
That’s quite a legacy.
I’m not completely counting him out yet, because of his unique capacity to hate. It’s all he has left. Everything he continues to do will be for him first, and America second — if it at all.
In that regard, he’s never been more dangerous.
While I’ve admittedly had my doubts about what, if anything, would drive Americans into the streets to rise up against this madman, they have mostly been extinguished following Saturday’s marches.
I am more confident as I type this piece today than I was on Friday night that Americans are capable of meeting this moment. I am more confident than ever that people, not parties, will save our democracy.
We have seen this before in this tumultuous country when truly heroic people sacrificed life and limb on the battlefields, and fought with all their hearts in our streets and in our courts in the never-ending quest for equal rights.
The battle has once again been joined.
We are but 147 days into a hateful regime that is scheduled to go 1,461. We are roughly a tenth of the way towards its bitter end.
There is no way the low-energy, miserable Trump makes it.
NO.
WAY.
I say we pour it on, and finish him off.
(D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. You can find all his work here.)
Get him and all his regime away from the nuclear codes, STAT.
It’s going to take a whole village of illusionists to keep him propped up. I think he and Kristi Noem use the same makeup, which certainly looks as though it’s been put on with a small shovel.