In one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies, The Paper, the late, great Robert Duvall is playing the role of Executive Editor Bernie White at an upstart tabloid in New York City back when newspapers were still king, and all this 24/7 BREAKING NEWS!!! on TV was slightly less polluted hot air than it is today.
Bernie’s having a particularly bad day because one of his opinion writers is grinding his gears, so he offers up an opinion of his own about all his damn columnists to his troublemaking metro editor, Henry Hackett, played by the equally incomparable, Michael Keaton.
White pulls hard on a cigarette he shouldn’t be smoking and blows at Hackett with a nicotine-laced gust:
“I hate columnists! Why do I have all these columnists? I got political columnists, guest columnists... celebrity columnists — the only thing I don't have is a dead columnist. That's the kind I could really use. We reek of opinions. What every columnist at this paper needs to do is SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!!!!”
Perfection …
It’s probably not the smartest thing to attack blowhard columnists when I have pretty much devolved into one since my newspaper days, but lately I am feeling very much the same way when it comes to all these opinions about the the two chief factions of the Democratic Party: the Centrists and the Progressives, or Democratic Socialists of America (DSA). And if you tell me that DSA and Progressives are somehow different please shut up, and thank you, because I could care less.
Here’s what I really care about: BEATING REPUBLICANS.
That’s it.
Look, I don’t care if you are a liberal Democrat, or a centrist Democrat. I don’t care if you are a socialist, or a moderate. I don’t care if you are a Blue Dog, or a Third Way … I don’t even care if you are the devil himself. If you can beat Republicans I will ride with you to hell and back.
The Republican Party is a racist cult that has disgracefully fallen at the fat, little feet of a convicted felon, and serial woman-abuser — a man who has never seen a fascist or authoritarian government he doesn't like, and has enriched himself with OUR tax dollars, while battering our White House with a wrecking ball, and starting illegal wars and disastrous tariffs he refuses to end.
He has attacked our air, water and endangered animals. He has attacked our press, and our allies. He even violently attacked our vote and nation while trying to overthrow our government.
Prices are spiraling out of control, and even the gas he and his billionaire buddies chug by the gallon is becoming too expensive to pump.
The Republican Party is the enemy of America and Americans, and I swear to God, I can’t hear another word about what kind of Democrat can beat these grotesque people, except that they have to be beaten.
If a Democrat in Iowa, who starts his speeches with a prayer, can beat his heathen Republican opponent I say, amen. If a Democrat in Michigan, who believes we all deserve affordable healthcare, can beat his Trump-loving opponent who wants to take vaccines away and keep spreading the measles, I say good health to you, my man.
We have but one job to do this November: Get behind every Democratic candidate we can vote for, and hold on tight.
This stupid media-generated horse race between centrists and the DSA needs to stop, pronto. To borrow from Duvall’s, Bernie White: I wish they would all shut the fuck up!
And look, if you are sickened by the state of our politics in the United States, congratulations you are not alone. Probably the only thing everybody on every side of the political spectrum can agree on is that our two-party system is flat busted.
You can mostly thank the cancerous Citizens United ruling for this, which was given to us by our bought-off, Radical Right Supreme Court, who see it as their No. 1 priority to appease billionaires, and keep us fighting with one another for the scraps, while they eat us whole.
We got that Supreme Court, because as Bill Clinton once put it: “Democrats want to fall in love; Republicans just fall in line.”
Republicans are ruthlessly disciplined, and gave us Trump, the most dangerous man on Earth, not once, but twice, and he rewarded them by appointing three of the nine Supreme Court Justices, and currently has a Republican House and Senate he can batter into submission, so that they can keep hammering us.
So sure, Democrats, let’s keep kicking the crap out of each other, and make good and damn sure we never win anything again.
And before you tell me it isn’t this easy, let me stop you right there and tell you that it is.
Understand: There is not one candidate out there who will ring all your bells. Not ONE.
If you are reading this and telling me you have found a candidate who agrees on your positions on everything, I am calling you a liar, or a dreaded political operative, which is worse — FAR worse — than even a political columnist.
Point is there will be Democratic candidates who align closely to what you believe, and others who are to the left or right of perfect, but every one of them will be far, far superior to anything Trump is telling his subservient Republicans to run on, which is mainly kissing his ample ass, and keeping him power.
It should be no surprise to you that I am not a fan of Chuck Schumer and his Centrist Democrats, and probably align more with the progressive wing of the party, though when DSA Co-Chair Megan Romer brags about not endorsing Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton, to protect her organization’s credibility, I have to snort at that absurd level of privilege.
Millions of people have been hurt, and in some instances killed, because one, or both, of those women didn’t win their elections, so maybe try showing some humility, woman. Or better yet, listen to Bernie’s advice above ...
All this is to say again, that while I have some issues with every candidate on the Left, when the primary season is blessedly over next month, I will endorse every Democrat who won their race.
Like I said: This isn’t hard.
You want hard?
See what happens if you don’t vote, and embolden a MAGA-led House and/or Senate to align with their Supreme Court and hideous dictator to make it so you can never vote again.
Because THAT’S what’s on the line right now.
(D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. You can find all his work here.)
Brilliant piece, Earl. I'm sick to death of both parties right now: the incessant rubber-stamping of everything Trump wants on the Right, and the lackadaisical leadership on the Left. Just for one damn day, I'd love to see Dems fight the good fight to engage voters, but I'm not holding my breath.
"And if you tell me that DSA and Progressives are somehow different please shut up, and thank you, because I could care less."
Yes!
As well folks, Kentucky, Kansas and North Carolina have democratic governors. Take for example Texas, there are more registered Democrats, 8.13 million than Republicans, 6.6 million.
If we would get the vote out, we will win.