MOTHER'S DAY

A tribute to Kay and all the moms who bring color, wisdom, and meaning to our lives ...

Tapping in here quickly and quietly on this Mother’s Day to let my mom know how much I still miss her, while paying tribute to all the moms out there, past and present.

My mom was an artist, a liberal, the smartest person I’ve ever known, and a survivor of the highest order — even if death came for her way too early. Early-onset Alzheimer’s robbed Kay of her mind many years ago, and while I miss her on a regular basis, I am thankful she never witnessed the sheer madness that followed the devil down that escalator in 2015.

She had had her heart broken enough.

When my terrible father finally bolted from me and my sister’s lives in the mid-1960s, Kay became our mom and dad for an uncertain stretch of road. Even as I was growing into a troubled teenager, she taught me what really matters in life, and when many years later I was finally able to toss aside the anchor that had been holding me down, those matters served me well as a man.

Although I never felt far from my mom — and still don’t — oceans separated us at the end, and our time together was fleeting but precious.

I’d like to share a story I told a few years back of our last meaningful time together. I believe it defines what was always on the inside of Kay, but ached to come out as she drifted away deep inside herself …

In the days when the light was still barely flickering inside Kay, and about a year from her death, she flew in with my stepdad to visit us in Germany, where I was working at Stars and Stripes.

She didn’t remember much, but she would occasionally hint at what she still recognized and loved.

Throughout the stay, she kept commenting about the beautiful flowers that lined our driveway. Nobody gave it much thought, because there were no beautiful flowers that lined our driveway that anybody was aware of. Just a tangle of bushes that badly needed some looking after.

On their final night in Germany, we had a big dinner. It was a gathering of expats and Germans, and was about as nice as things could be under the circumstances.

While everybody was busy preparing the feast and carrying on, my mom went off into the backyard, and thankfully returned without a search party.

Nobody gave that much thought, either.

With the dinner in high gear, a guest mentioned the beautiful flowers that had been expertly prepared in the vase in the corner of the dining room.

Things got quiet and we all turned in the direction of that corner and stared in wonder at the beautiful flowers. Then we all turned around and stared at my mother.

The driveway flowers had been brought to life. Her fading green eyes started to flicker …

Wherever she is these days I will trust Kay is bringing life to the mundane, wisdom to the unenlightened, and vivid color to those blotches of gray.

If you are a mom of kids and/or animals, have a mom or had a mom, I wish you peace of mind during these roiling times. Maybe you were even lucky enough to have a mom like I did … however briefly.

Happy Mother’s Day,

-Earl

(That’s a picture of my mom on a New Jersey beach in 1968. I’m the good-looking kid in the middle.)

---

If you don’t subscribe, why not join the thousands who do? With many thanks on this special day to the people who already support and help sustain my work …

---