COLD-BLOODED CRETIN

Trump is once again trying to talk his way out of the latest violent episode in his miserable life

After singlehandedly closing the Strait of Hormuz, destabilizing the entire world, and bringing about needless death and destruction, I see Donald Trump is contemplating surrender to Iran.

Of course the man with the “best words”is not putting it quite that way this morning, because the man with the “best words” was working overtime, hands flailing away while playing his invisible accordion, as he tried his best to talk his way out of a catastrophic mess that was entirely of his own doing.

After a weekend of golf, and bragging to guests on the patio of Mar-a-Lago about the size of the engine in his diesel-powered golf cart, Trump bloviated in that spoiled-snot, idiotic way Monday morning that at some point during his weekend of leisure we had “very strong talks” with Iran.

Really, pal? “Very strong talks?”

Oh, well, if they were “very strong” I guess that does it, and we can all relax now, and get on with our lives.

Can we finally stop giving this supersonic moron a pass for his diarrhea of the mouth, and making up conversations that never happened? This has been going on for the better part of a decade, and we really need to circle back and decide again we have had more than enough of this, and simply have to get back to expecting more from a president.

Trump opens his big, fat mouth, random words just fly out of it, and the press reports them unchallenged and almost completely without context.

I wrote the book on it several years ago, and finally surrendered myself, because it was clear as day too many Americans were just fine with having a complete, dumb-shit for a president.

I am way past sick and tired of these Americans, but more on that for another day.

Trump is a stupid idiot, and is not only incapable of deep thought, but any thought. He is a hyena with a reusable “get out of jail free” card, who has been led around by his ridiculous, painted orange nose his entire miserable life through failed businesses, marriages and now presidencies.

Only hours before telling the world about his fictional “very strong talks” with Iran, he was asked about the horrific collision at LaGuardia Sunday night, and he said this: “They made a mistake. It’s a dangerous business. That’s terrible.”

“They made a mistake.”

This is the nuclear-powered idiot who casually thrust the world into an unnecessary, intentional, catastrophic mistake that we will all be paying for for years, and long after he is blessedly gone.

He has no idea what he is doing.

Let me try that again:

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE IS DOING.

This needs to be said over and over again.

He is a failure of a man, who lost this stupid, senseless war the minute it started.

Thousands of human beings are needlessly dead, among them school children, and members of our military, both of whom he could care less about. He treats them all like so many Big Macs to be devoured to feed his endless appetite for chaos, and affirmation he never got growing around people who loved him so much, they just couldn’t wait to kick him the hell out of their cavernous mansion because it wasn’t big enough to keep them all separate, and from killing each other.

And when the real fighting started, he chickened out of that, too, because service to himself is more important than service to his country. Trumps don’t love this country, they feed off it.

None of them serve.

So Trump is surrendering today after his “very strong talks” because last week Iran used small, cheap weapons to blow up energy complexes in Qatar, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. This is easy as pie, and was never given any consideration from the dry drunk and human oil slick, Pete Hegseth, who is leading a military that as a veteran, I still believe deserves so much better.

The longer Trump’s idiotic, unnecessary war goes, the more damage will be inflicted on these gas and oil reserves that have a disgraceful and outsized impact upon world order.

If only there were cheaper, safer options to oil out there …

For its part, Iran has denied there were any talks at all this weekend, much less “very strong” ones, and will be content to wait out Trump and all those invisible voices in his head, until he has extinguished every bad option on his supersized menu.

Here is the statement they posted on social media:

“No negotiations have been held with the U.S. Fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets.”

This was a senseless war, started by a complete sociopath and failure of a man, whose second term in office has been an authoritarian disaster area, and we will pay through the nose for both of these things for many years to come.

Like this barbaric regime itself, nothing good was ever going to come out of this sad chapter of American history.

But since very strong words carry the day in America these days, here’s a few more: Trump and his bloodthirsty regime can all go straight to hell.

(D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. You can find all his work here, and follow him on Bluesky here.)